by Mary-Jo Lough, PBPCA Member and Artist
During COVID in 2021, I was supposed to have a solo art show at LOFT112, however, it was canceled twice (thankfully, in retrospect) before it finally went ahead in October. I say thankfully because I had been creating work with a focus on what I thought people would like rather than what resonated with me.
A few things happened. Firstly, I created uninspired work that bored me to death while creating it. Secondly, working this way established a period of deep-seated imposter syndrome for me. Truthfully, I was an imposter, because I was creating art that was not connected to me at all on any level. Through practicing this way, my fear of not being enough, and not being considered a “real artist” was fortified. The fear and confusion were extremely frustrating and artistically debilitating. By the time I was given the third date for my show in 2021, I said “I’m going to create a collection of work that I love! I am going to make this for me; I am going to throw myself into the process and be 100% engaged, and if I don’t sell one piece, I will hang it all in my house proudly.” This was the birth of the DIVERGENT collection – a collection of work that visually represents how I navigate the world as a person with ADHD.
I was extremely nervous when the show opened. Although I had a lowkey confidence in the collection, it was all me. If it only received polite nods and smiles, then my fears would be justified. However, to date, this collection has been my most popular, with only one piece remaining! The discussions I had with people who attended the show and how deeply they were drawn into this collection solidified the fact that being authentic is the key to creating sincere and powerful work.
I have reflected on the DIVERGENT collection and how it came together. The lowkey confidence I referenced above existed because I was in “the zone” while creating each piece. I have come to realize that the only way I attain harmony during my process is by getting out of my own way, relying on the methods I have always gravitated toward (aka trusting my intuition), and providing myself with absolute trust. Additionally, and most likely more importantly, I was one hundred percent okay with failing, which I think is the magical and elusive key to “getting in the zone.” In my opinion, a lack of fear or the ability to get in the zone is not about confidence or believing you will succeed; it’s found in the acceptance that failure is a distinct possibility, understanding that you will survive failure if it happens, and moving forward anyway.
Creating art that is genuine and honest requires being comfortable with uncertainty and fear, which directly mirrors the elements of living an authentic life. I have learned this lesson, but the knowledge doesn’t persist, as I have had to learn it repeatedly – both in and outside the studio. It’s human nature to grasp for certainty, avoid vulnerability, and want situations, relationships, and people to be permanent. But it’s the moments when you’re able to let go that lead to the most meaningful and profound moments. Nelson Mandela stated it simply and concisely: “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” I keep this quote posted in my studio as a daily reminder to not be intimidated by fear.
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